Change in the Season
by Mmedubarry
Summary: When a simple gesture has the magnitude to shift a change in season or even the course of a relationship. Jarvey!
1. Chapter 1

[A/N: Another Jarvey fic for those who love this pairing as much as I do. This one is a light/fluffy one. It is set in future, post S5 I guess…weddings always bring out the secret romantics, especially at this special wedding. There is potential for some follow up chapters, let me know if there is interest in continuing or another snapshot piece. Reads and reviews are appreciated and I hope I can entertain you for a small part of your day! Lyrics are courtesy of Taylor Swift's "You are in Love". I don't own anything.]

It was a beautiful September evening in upstate New York.

The end of summer was near.

The tickling breeze against her skin was a soft reminder of the promise of the inevitable change that came every year; that time of year when nature's majestic colours began to paint the tips of leaves with the bold autumn palette.

She was not one to get caught up in romantic settings and overt declarations of love. She much preferred the romance of a simple gesture; an evening at home with a classic black and white movie, the silence in the morning just before a lover woke, or the simple look that said more than words ever could.

But she couldn't help but muse at beauty of her current location.

It was a truly romantic setting; elegant, lavish, yet bountiful with the promise of true love. The soft breeze caused the gossamer netting of the tent to sway along with the music in the air. It was so sheer that if she looked up, could actually see the stars that evening. The draping of the décor was pillared with a soft glow of the dim lighting and thousands of tea light candles, which made the reception look like the stars danced within its confines. She always knew that white was a colour, despite what the rules of art and science dictated, as this wedding had every shade of white the eye could see. The abundance of flowers were fit for a royal reception, every luxurious variety one could ever dream of. The smell was heavenly as it drifted on the soft breeze. It was the type of wedding that every girl dreamed of. Everything was a true splendor to the eye.

But what brought that bow to the curve of her lips was seeing the promise of young love… true love, just a few feet away.

There was something very powerful in the love that Mike and Rachel shared.

Their love was so powerful in its simplicity; boy met girl, girl met boy and their lives instantly became entwined and vested in one another's interest. It didn't matter who came their way, and what circumstances came at them, they had found one another. Their love was without pretense or condition. They weathered more than anyone knew (with the exception of a select few). They overcame tragedies, questionable relationships and circumstances which threatened to tear them down, and they still made it to the other side, side by side.

Their young love was the truest personification of what Jessica had always imagined true love to be. The thought brought a coy small smile to her mouth as she observed the overjoyed looks on their faces, the admiration, the awe; the power of their union. Jessica felt a warm energy spread within her watching Mr. and Mrs. Ross begin their first dance as a married couple. She always hated to admit it, but she was a secret romantic, but that was a fact that not many were ever privy to.

 _One look, dark room meant just for you_

 _Time moved too fast, you play it back_

 _Buttons on a coat, lighthearted joke_

 _No proof not much but you saw enough_

 _Small talk, he drives, coffee at midnight_

 _Moonlight reflects the chain on your neck_

 _He says, "look up", and your shoulders brush_

 _No proof one touch, you felt enough_

When Jessica was younger, she too once believed in love, in the words 'till death due us part', and in the promise of sharing the journey of life with _that_ person. She always thought that man would come along, and for the most part never lost faith. She always reassured, it just wasn't the right time and her time was meant for another place and another time. She never focused on what she didn't have, rather always kept her eye on the ball for opportunities to constantly move forward. Except Jessica being who she was didn't just move forward, she catapulted to greatness and along the way that special person never found his way into her life in a permanent way.

 _You can hear it in the silence, silence_

 _You, you can feel it on the way home, way home_

 _You, you can see it with the lights out, lights out_

 _You are in love, true love_

 _You are in love_

Her marriage with Quentin was by no means a great love. It was a relationship based on respect, convenience and likeness. He was a kind man, a giving man, but not the man for Jessica. Now with the perspective that the years brought, she realized the marriage could have never worked, even if he hadn't strayed and if he hadn't gotten sick. The marriage was entered into with the right intention, but with the wrong match. When the vows were exchanged she hoped that it would work. It wasn't a whirlwind romance, but it was present and there so she went with it, her version of throwing caution to the wind and gambling on what she thought at the time was a sure thing. At the time she rationed this was her version of true love, a steady companionship, not overt in its proclamations and promises, but steady and present. Even still to this day, she was finally able to admit it to herself that she kept the marriage secret for a reason. Jessica was ashamed of her failure and ashamed that she ignored her gut feeling at the time, since it always served her well. But she was mostly ashamed that even after her marriage fell apart, she still secretly held out and hoped for love to find her again.

She thought she might have found that man in Jeff Malone years later, the most desirable man she had ever dated. Everything about Jeff was what she secretly asked the universe for in her private thoughts, just before she lay her head down at night. Jessica asked and she received. He was indescribably handsome, charismatic, brilliant, successful, funny as hell, and crazy about her. Jeff had chased Jessica. He put up a fight for her attention. He tried to please her and take care of her, but even with all these incredible attributes, there was still something that made it impossible to be together.

Jessica was not an easy woman to be in a relationship with. With every year that passed, the more complex her life became. Every decision and experience was a link in the chain of strategic plays in her life's playbook. Her life began to resemble a chessboard and every person she held dear sometimes had to be moved around to be spared, protected and sometimes eliminated. There was a reason why many called her the chess master. Everything always became too complex, too messy, too tiring. Sometimes she forgot how to just be Jessica, and not Jessica Pearson legal god and deity.

And so with her heavier thoughts the smile began to fade. Jessica sat back in her seat and let out a small sigh. She crossed her legs toward her date, still slightly dazed watching the newly weds sway to the pleasingly melodic tune. She brought a flute of champagne to her lips, unaware of the set of eyes on her face, observing her beauty, her demeanor, her small inflections, which made her so enigmatic to him. If he had the time, he could watch her all day.

 _Morning, his place, burnt toast, Sunday_

 _You keep his shirt, he keeps his word_

 _For once you let go of your fears and your ghosts_

 _One step, not much but it said enough_

 _You kiss on side walks, you fight, and you talk_

 _One night he wakes, strange look on his face_

 _Pauses, then says, "you're my best friend"_

 _And you knew what it was, he is in love_

At Jessica's round table sat the _Pearson Specter Litt_ 'family'; Donna across from Jessica with her new beau, a handsome Wall Street banker named Andrew; to Donna's right sat Louis who had recently reconnected with Sheila (thanks to Donna and her ubiquitous skills as a master of the heart and secretary). To Donna's left sat Katrina, Louis' former protégé and her fiancé, and beside Katrina sat Mike's best man and Jessica's date, Harvey Specter. The _Pearson Spector Litt_ family had most recently been on quite a journey, but all seemed to have worked itself for the time being. All was at peace amongst everyone for the first time in a long time; they were stronger and closer than ever.

As Jessica sipped her Moet, her big brown eyes began actively surveying her work family, watching them all succumb to the romance of the moment. She watched Louis place a kiss on Sheila's hand and a sweet smile returned in gratitude from her. She glanced at Donna's date Andrew caress Donna's back as a goofy grin spread across his classically handsome face as he watched her watch Mike and Rachel on the dance floor. Its like they had all grown up and were moving on with their lives, and yet Jessica felt like she was still in the same place she had been for many years.

 _You can hear it in the silence, silence_

 _You, you can feel it on the way home, way home_

 _You, you can see it with the lights out, lights out_

 _You are in love, true love_

 _You are in love_

Jessica placed her flute of champagne down gingerly and placed her hands in her lap with graceful elegance, as only she could muster. She could feel Harvey's eyes on her face but she didn't succumb to her urge to look over at him, afraid she would reveal something, what it was, she wasn't sure.

Jessica jumped slightly in her seat when she felt an invasive tender contact within her lap. The contact took her breath away for a second, enough to widen her eyes and paralyze her reactionary time. Harvey took his opportunity and with a great effort of stealth, gently caressing the inside of Jessica's palm. With a smooth and fluid movement, he pulled her hand from her lap and in between their seats, out of the line of sight and threat of losing the moment.

His eyes never left her face. He continued to observe her behavior, her inflections, her aura.

Harvey could feel Jessica tense energy through her skin. He knew her well enough to know her uptightness came from the fact that she didn't want to make a scene by reacting and pulling away, risking someone noticing a moment between them. The tenderness of the touch sent her nervous system into a flux. Harvey knew at any second Jessica's brain would register a way to retract from the intimate gesture. He watched her eyes dart down at their hold and refract to his face in a questioning way. The look was much more pleading then threatening, which Harvey didn't expect. Harvey knew that small sliver of intimacy she just gave him was rare and fleeting and he didn't want to let the moment go. With just one look, it was enough for him to test the waters just a little further. Their eyes still locked on one another everything seemed to fade around them. Harvey let a genuine, charming smile cross his lips, letting Jessica know without one word, he knew what he was doing. This move was not a test, rather a bold message.

Jessica said nothing and turned her attention back to the dance floor in confusion, astonishment, and an elegant panic. Her hand remained still in Harvey's grasp, involuntarily in its position, in a state of uncertainty.

 _And so it goes_

 _You two are dancing in a snow globe round and round_

 _And he keeps a picture of you in his office downtown_

 _And you understand now_

 _Why they lost their minds and fought the wars_

 _And why I spent my whole life_

 _Trying to put it into words_

Jessica closed her eyes…

 _'Cause you can hear it in the silence_

 _You can feel it on the way home_

…getting lost in the moment, she made a decision.

 _You can see it with the lights out_

 _You are in love, true love_

 _You are in love_

She let her heart control her movement, going against her ascertained habits and boundaries she had build over the years, especially when it came to Harvey. Their chemistry was always a gentle simmer on the surface, but both had an unspoken agreement to never cross that proverbial line with the intent no protect their special relationship.

Jessica moved her long elegant fingers to slowly meld into Harvey's, locking the gesture in a bold declaration, staring ahead at the inspired promise that was Mike and Rachel.

It had been some time now that she stopped looking at Harvey as the maverick, cocky protégé with something to prove. He had finally come into his own and had ferocity in him to protect those he cared about, especially in the last few years learning through his mistakes and fighting unwaveringly for those who meant the most to him. It had been her mandate for years to help him grow more in touch with his emotions and treat them as a strength, rather than a weakness. He now was every bit a man, a man who was honorable, clever, passionate and generous to those he cared for when he thought no one was looking. But Jessica saw, she saw it all. There was a pride… a peace that came knowing this man was her partner, literally and figuratively. So why was it so hard for Jessica to ever consider that Harvey was perhaps _that_ man in her life?

She recognized that Maybe it was time to stop fighting the inevitable change that their relationship was taking in recent years? No longer mentor/mentee, employer/employee, friend/partner in crime; it was hard to define, but there was a bond that was deeper than chemistry, sexual tension, friendship, and colleagues. It was rooted in their cores; a connection that was enough for her to take a chance on him on the onset almost twenty years ago; a connection that wavered the ugliest of moments between one another and still found its foundation repaired because of their regard for their special bond; a connection that grew stronger with every year where they depended on one another to balance and propel one another in business, in relationships, and as people.

For that short moment, there was a definitive change in the air that night, a shift in the season of Harvey and Jessica's relationship. It was something that you could hear in the silence, that you could feel even if the lights were out.

 _You can hear it in the silence, silence_

 _You, you can feel it on the way home, way home_

 _You, you can see it with the lights out, lights out_

 _You are in love, true love_

 _You are in love_

The End.


	2. Chapter 2

CH 2

[A/N: Thank you for all the reads and reviews! You are all very kind. It wouldn't be a Jarvey story if there wasn't some sort of tension and conflict, so I decided to add another chapter, another shift in the 'season' (so to speak) of Harvey and Jessica's relationship. It is a continuation from Chapter 1 that takes place later in the evening. It took me a while to craft this one because it had to be fitting for these two very strong characters and have that element of an emotional rollercoaster. This one is rated M – very mature subject matter. Fair Warning! I own nothing. Enjoy!]

Harvey tugged at the bowtie around his neck that felt all the more constricting after his last interaction with Jessica that evening at Mike and Rachel's wedding. He pulled at the black suspenders, which felt like binds against his body, and let them hang loose at his side. How did it go to hell so quickly?

 _Why_ did she always do this to him?

 _How_ did she always manage to do this to him?

She always-somehow-managed to unglue him.

This woman had a vice grip on his insides.

Jessica could make Harvey feel like he was king of the world at times, and at others, with just a few choice words or with just a look, she could cut him down to size so small it would be enough to leave him in the billowy shadow of all his fears and insecurities. No woman could ever reach him at this guttural level.

He ran a methodical hand through his hair, and then down to the buttons of his dress shirt, un-doing a few and allowing the coolness of the autumn air through his terrace door off-set the burn of his anxiety on his skin.

Harvey's feet shuffled aimlessly over the expanse of his living room, defeated. He paused when he reached the window and leaned his head against the coolness of the glass, closing his eyes and thinking back to that wicked moment where he took his biggest opportunity and gamble to date and clearly lost, and lost big betting against the house that was fate.

They had left things in such a grey area – before Jessica took off on him – they had said things, things that would be very difficult to ignore, deny and avoid on Monday morning when everything went back to the status quo at the firm.

 _Why_ did he layout his cards on the table?

 _What_ possessed him to reveal his cards to her? The same cards that held the greatest stakes. Harvey just gambled his heart for the first time in years, and to the woman who always held a power over him. His ego rationed this was going to be bad…

 _What_ the hell was the matter with him?

The older he got he was sure he was supposed to become less reckless in the wisdom of age.

But hell, he was Harvey Spector.

He was always calculated in risk and reward and he was sure after Jessica succumbed to his amorous queues, this would be the night to tell her; tell her how he truly felt and how long he had been carrying the weight of this confession and how truly deep it ran.

And he did…after taking her in his arms and swaying with her in a rhythm that was uniquely their own all night; after running his fingertips against her skin really touching her for the first time without the excuse of hiding behind some bullshit formality; after feeling her breath in his ear and against his neck, dancing a pattern that made his insides constrict; after experiencing the joy of their easy nature around one another, laughing, teasing and reminiscing on how far they had come in 17 years, Harvey told her; in that perfect setting of the estate gardens, enveloped in the sweet scent of the last blooms of the flowers, under the stars, in a moment that felt uniquely theirs.

Harvey took pause to think; to think about where he was in this exact place in his life, to reflect about the woman who again managed to leave him with more questions than he even knew what to do with, and to think about her- how much he wanted her, needed her, how much he had come to love her.

But she didn't feel the same way – she took off on him.

Alone in the silence of his apartment he felt betrayed by his emotions, by his heart, by his head, by Jessica.

In the past year he had done a lot of work on his emotional state. Harvey had never felt more in control of life. No longer was he trying to outrun the speeding emotional freight train just at his heels, threating to run him over, as he tried to balance on life's tracks. Harvey did the hard work and managed to dis-engage and do the emotional work that derailed the threat of leaving him to grow old in a bitter, angry and broken state. His already swelled confidence found a way to level, no longer overcompensating to make up for his faults, rather cementing into a quiet confidence he never truly possessed until after this year of work.

He had evaluated.

He had calculated.

He had forgiven.

But most of all, he had rationed all his shortcomings when it came to the women in his life…and no woman had ever held the clout, respect, and place in Harvey's mind, body and soul that Jessica did. He was just too afraid to ever admit it to himself how much he revered this woman; how all his decisions somehow always seemed to revolve or effect around her; how she was always the first person he felt compelled to share all his triumphs and falls; how he always found any excuse to spend as much time with her as he could; how she was always the first person he ran to when he needed things put in perspective; how she stayed loyal to him, even in his lowest and most shameful moments; how he had an inane volition to protect her; how he would risk everything for her in a heartbeat; and how his greatest joy was to make her laugh.

Jessica was Harvey's absolute.

There was no other woman he was sure of that would come along in future or resurface from the past, who could have this power over his heart and soul. If a man was lucky, this type of woman only came around once in a lifetime, if at all.

She was the love of his life…and she took off.

Harvey could feel his chest start to constrict, the uncomfortable familiar anxiety that flushed his skin and netted in a pit in his stomach, gnawing at him, at the thought of having to let her go before he even had a chance. The pain of the memory of her words, or lack thereof, in their last conversation caused him to swallow hard and control his breathing. He knew this would be a sleepless night. And so, he geared up, pouring himself a stiff drink, hunkering down and preparing for a long night of strategizing just how he was going to get out of this predicament that he had just put himself in. After all, there was still a business to be run.

Just as Harvey started to settle in an uncomfortable wallow around his living room there was banging at his door. His head instantly shot up, methodically staring down the hall, as though his stare would telepathically open the door.

With his jaw set in a determined annoyance, he stalked to the door. With every step he notched another peg on the scale of incensed exasperation. Harvey whipped his door open and his breath hitched in his throat, not expecting this visitor at four in the morning.

"Did you mean what you said to me tonight?" Her voice was strong. It was her closing argument tone.

"Every word." Harvey countered with evenness.

Jessica was still dressed in her immaculate couture, her ebony locks draped over her left shoulder waved in the style of a classic Hollywood siren. Her eyes met Harvey's wild with intensity, as they widened in response to his declaration. If Harvey didn't know better his confession may had just hit her as she appeared to have been trying to comprehend what he just confirmed at his threshold. The pattern of her breathing became uneven Harvey noticed, the rising and falling of her chest evident in the deep plunge of her claret colored gown. His eyes lingered for the briefest moment down the expanse of her exposed torso, and back up to her face, where her lips, in the same shade of luxurious merlot, parted trying to catch her breath. He could see the proverbial bricks of her wall of self-perseverance start to fall, one by one…and in that realization Harvey could see she didn't know what to do with herself.

Here she was… in the flesh… at four in the morning…at his doorstep to revisit the conversation she avoided with all her might. Harvey knew this _Jessica_ was in rarest form. He knew that her heart would only open in the most extraordinary of circumstances, in the briefest of moments, and he knew he couldn't gamble this moment on his ego being bruised or his hurt feelings of her turning away in the first place. He may never get this chance again. He was going to finish what he started earlier that evening, no matter what the outcome. He owed it to himself. He owed it to her.

Harvey took a few steps back and opened the door to her, holding her intense gaze. The clicks of her stilettos were a punctuating absolution; they brought a relief with every step…he hadn't lost her…yet. Jessica in her own volition came back to him to deal with this, just when he thought it was over before it even began. Harvey rationed that no matter what happened now they would find a way to move on like they always had. He watched her from behind as she switched her hips in that way that drove him crazy, and the layers of fabric that reacted to each step, flowing behind her like a cape of a warrior queen dancing in the wind of victory. He could feel the ache in his belly to just touch her again.

Jessica took a deep breath and let out a big sigh. Harvey paused in his stride in a reactionary way to the sound in the silence of his expansive living quarters. He took his time to admire her perfectly toned back, and the curve of her feminine figure. He waited for her start as he had already said too much in in one evening. He placed his hands in his pockets and just patiently waited, staring at the back of her head. Jessica placed her hand on his kitchen countertop for support and slowly turned to look over her shoulder to face him. They stared at one another for what seemed like hours, neither willing to make a move until Harvey conceded, "Did you even go home?"

"Yes."

"Then why did you come here?"

She turned to face him, as though that would be enough of a response.

"Because I can't understand why you would lay that on me… like that… there… in a place where I couldn't even properly react…or process..." With every phrase Jessica's voice agitated and rose in an uncharacteristic way, which rattled Harvey.

"That's bullshit!" Harvey bellowed in frustration cutting her off. "You reacted the way you did and it wouldn't have mattered if it was at Mike and Rachel's wedding, or it was in your office, or even in your own home. You were going to do what you were going to do and say what you wanted to say, which by the way, wasn't much."

"How the hell did you expect me to react?" Jessica's agitation barely subsided as she continued to meet him in a mirrored tone.

"Jessica you ripped out of my grip and then disappeared. You ran! I definitely did not expect that from you! We could have at least talked about it rather than this melodramatic game of evasiveness."

"Well I didn't expect a bomb to be dropped on me and our relationship!"

"Wait, you think what happened tonight was a bad thing?" Harvey asked perplexed, was she shutting it all down?

"I don't know what to think, I can't get my bearings…everything is going a mile a second and I…" Jessica started to panic, her reactions were agitated, and much less graceful then her typical presence. Her hand was flying from her forehead to conducting orchestras that didn't exist. She continued, "I…I…goddam it, Harvey! I can't do this again, not with you!" as she gestured to him and raised her voice which she very rarely did.

Hearing that was like taking a bullet for Harvey, he dropped his head to stare at his floor and nodded defeated, hoping to buy himself some time so he could string together something coherent. The fight in his voice was gone as he spoke, evenly, "So there it is, how you really feel... Thank you for your honesty, Jessica. That's all I needed to hear." When he looked to her his eyes it was unlike any familiar stare he had given her in the past. He turned away from her and started to walk back down his corridor as he finished, "I think it's best if you leave now."

Jessica watched him, her insides tensed with every step he took towards that door.

"Wait, Harvey! You're not listening…I'm not explaining myself very well" She was impassioned, even letting out a small growl of frustration. "I don't even know where to start. I don't understand why you want to do this, now, with me…why now?"

"If you can't figure that out for yourself, then this is doomed no matter what. There's no point." Harvey reached for the door handle of his front door.

"What the hell does that mean?" This was not the controlled chess master that Harvey was used to seeing, she was reactionary, emotional and on edge. He very rarely ever saw her face contort and project such raw emotion and anger. She always managed to keep things like this at bay, but the look on her face at that moment was like she was breathing fire.

"It means that it's always been here Jessica! It means that there was always some bullshit between us that hasn't allowed for it to happen. But this is the first time in almost twenty years you and I have come full circle! No more excuses, reasons, or circumstances for us not to have this discussion. You saw me, when no one saw me, when I couldn't even see myself. You believed in me when everyone else lost faith! You forgave me, when I had no business being forgiven! You watched as I went through the most difficult year of my life and gave me the space to sort it out and in doing that you passed me the bricks to start to rebuild."

Jessica's voice softened as she offered and interrupted response, "That's just it Harvey, I don't think you are ready. I think, you think you are but what happens your commitment issues kick back in? Or when a younger plaything comes your way? Or when you realize, you're not cut out for a real relationship?"

"You're taking shots at me?" Harvey started to make his way back to come face to face with her again, not believing his ears that she would go there with him; taking the few short steps in a domineering way not willing to take the shots voluntarily along side the harsh words.

"Well your track record would lead me to go there…easily…" The intensity went up tenfold in that room. Harvey looked like he was ready to pounce; his blood started rushing to his neck as it always had when he felt cornered, his jaw locked in that intense way, and his eyes bore in Jessica's completely baffled at how cruel she was being. When Harvey felt attacked, he swiped right back…always.

"Ok fine! Using that rationale, what happens when you have to lie to me or have to make a decision…me over the firm?" his tone seething with cruelty to hurt Jessica back.

"I can't believe you would go there you son of a bitch!" Jessica spoke over him.

"…What happens when you have to make a move that hinders an advantage for me?" Harvey just talked over her, trying to make his point, "Or when I realize you have manipulated a situation or me in your favor when I challenge you? See, legitimate concerns from your track record…I'll tell you what…none of it matters, you know why?"

"Why?" Jessica breathed fire, eyes wide in agitation.

"Because I belong to you, I always have!" Harvey bellowed, trying his best to illustrate a picture with his words for Jessica, to help her understand how deep his feelings ran for her. "I have been devoted to you because you are everything to me! No woman before you or after you will ever have that grip on my insides like you. You control me! I revolve around you and for you! I exist for you! You have a power over me and I don't care! It doesn't matter because you are _that_ woman in my life and I trust you with everything, even when you do what you do!"

Jessica was floored. She didn't think it was possible to be speechless in one night…twice. She took a few steps backwards and dropped in shell shock onto one of the stools at the kitchen counter, her face blank as though it was carved in stone. Her breathing quickened with every declaration he made, but it felt like everything else shutdown. All she could manage to do is stare out the expanse of his windows.

"You have no response?" Harvey pushed, staring at her profile.

"I…" She tried. After a few moments of silence passed. She tried again, opening her mouth to say something but nothing came out.

Harvey grew impatient and with nothing to lose at this point, he pleaded in a quickened and agitated tone, "Jessica, give me something here…you can't do this to me again. Don't shut down on me. You came to me…say something!"

She turned to face Harvey, who was now standing in front of her, trying his best to get her attention with his stare. The tears started to prick at her eyes, a foreign feeling shining her worry, her fears, her truth, "I CAN'T because if this doesn't work then I'm positive I won't get up from this one to fight another day!"

When the statement came out of her it was powerful, it was wrenching, it was agonizingly truthful. Harvey swallowed hard.

Jessica's voice lost it vigor and she breathed through the rest, praying her voice wouldn't crack, her eyes firmly now on the floor. "I won't recover, not this time. Quentin was beyond my control, God's will…or whatever it is they say…Jeff… Jeff was brutal for me to work through especially at this stage of my life."

Jessica's long lashes swept up and looked Harvey in the eyes, "I tried and I failed and it was ALL on me… but you…" her powerful voice failed and she shook her head at the thought of her worst fear.

"Jessica, you and me are not you and Jeff. You and me are not you and Quentin. Look at me…" Harvey's now comforting deep baritone words eased her slightly to continue.

"I let my walls down for Jeff. I let him in. He ran a great game about trust and letting go to have it all. But when the first test came, I failed him. I failed…"

"Jessica you didn't fail."

Jessica ignored Harvey's last statement, unconvinced as she still beat herself up even after months after the fact. The lump in her throat was the size of a jawbreaker and her tears now burned to be released, but she kept fighting them until she said, "I can't fail you Harvey. I am not built to survive it."

Harvey placed his hands on Jessica's delicate neck and his fingers intertwined with her luscious locks. He positioned her face to look at him dead in the eyes, "Jessica, listen to me and listen closely because I am only going to say this once. We have already gone through the worst of it. We have survived it as partners, friends, and colleagues. We know every skeleton in each other's closets and there is nothing I won't do to protect you even if another one drops from rafters. I will care for you and love you till the end. I am certain you will do all these things for me now not even being in a relationship. So I can only imagine the trust I will have in knowing that being with you, when we go up against the world together, it will be unbreakable. I am so sure of this… of us…that I am willing to risk it all. I meant every word when I told you tonight you are my absolute. You are the love of my life."

"I am not an easy woman to love, Harvey." His thumbs wiped the rouge tears that now managed to escape and mark her usually flawless face. She was even more beautiful to him now knowing how deep her feelings ran and how affected she could be become in the thought of being together. It wasn't an overt declaration of love, but it was enough. He knew deep down that a woman like Jessica needed time, even after almost twenty years. She did everything in her own time.

"When have I ever done easy?" Harvey cracked a sarcastic joke.

"You've done plenty of easy women!" She was still quick as a whip and Harvey cracked a classically charming smile, genuinely amused that she could muster a joke even after a cry. "Oh you think you're funny…"

"I'm as funny as you are pretty."

"Oh you still think I'm pretty…and don't say pretty stupid. Us pretty people do have feelings despite what the commoners may say." Jessica chuckled through her sniffle at his ability to be a goofball and how comforting it felt for things to return to a form of normality been them after this very charged conversation.

"Harvey, we can't have it all, something will have to give, something will…"

"Jessica, stop…" Harvey pleaded, afraid she would talk herself out of the progress they just made. He leaned in and placed his lips on her forehead and held them there, the simple touch caused a surge of tranquility to envelope them both. Jessica's long fingers wrapped around Harvey's wrists and ran them down his forearms soothingly. Relishing in the intimacy of the moment, something she never thought he was capable of and in such a meaningful way, she succumbed to all of it. Harvey always managed to surprise Jessica and this moment was no exception.

"I'm scared." the whisper so quiet that if the room wasn't silent as a monastery, Harvey may have missed it.

"Me too."

They remained there for a few moments wrapped in this new closeness of skin to skin after years of dancing a proverbial tango around one another, never getting too close to the forbidden fruit of underlying feelings that were never spoken about. The time for words had come and gone.

There was nothing left to say.

Harvey tilted his head and slowly brought his lips to Jessica's. What began as a slow simmer of anticipation and gentle exploration, quickly evolved into an explosion of fervor. The desire that they both felt in the coming together, after years of denying themselves both the pleasure of each other's intimacies, was a combustion of pent up energy locked away in a tiny compartment of their beings. It was as though fate had built up this incredible force of energy after all this time and this was the inevitable moment that it was ready to explode. The ministrations were like a treasure chest that was cracked open at the moment their lips came together and an abundance of riches came pouring out. Their mouths battled as though they searched one another for something unknown, but with the deepening of the kiss they found the answer.

Jessica rose to her feet, pressing herself against Harvey's chest, trying to get as close to him as humanly possible. It was unlike any need of desire she had ever had for any other man. She pulled at his button down, gripping it at his sides pulling him feverishly towards her body, pinning herself between the countertop and his body. The feeling of Harvey's taught chest against her was enough for Jessica to feel like she was losing her mind.

The aggressive move spiked Harvey's desire further, deepening his kiss to open her mouth to him, in an attempt to feel more of her, which was beginning to become impossible in their shortness of breath. Harvey moved his lips down her jawline, and continued the sensual trail of her flawless skin of her long neck. Jessica immediately tilted head to his ministrations, relishing his velvety kiss causing her body an involuntary shudder. She tensed almost instantly at how good it felt to be touched by him, something that didn't go unnoticed by Harvey. With the first moan reverberating through the delicate skin of her neck.

As Harvey explored every inch of her exposed skin that her gown revealed he slowly pushed the straps of Jessica's dress down over her shoulders, tantalizingly slow. The delicate glide of his fingertips over skin was such a tease as his mouth continued to explore the trail of his fingers. Jessica could feel everything light up from within her, and when Harvey's mouth found that hollow place in the center of her chest, as his fingertips grazed her breast, and his other hand pulled her closer to him at the waist. It felt like their bodies were melding into one another, every move a perfect fit. Harvey's mouth was hot and wild in his exploration, and when she felt the flick of his tongue against her taught nipple, her head flew back in an instinctual tug of pleasure, a hitch of her breath on her lips. Feeling the slickness of his tongue, the warmness of his mouth and the sharp flick as he dragged his teeth and tongue against her nipple, the pleasure spiked through her breasts and pooled between her legs. Her hands moved to clasp Harvey's head and guide him without having to say a word of what she desired, keeping him there just for a few moments longer.

Every movement became more deliberate and filled with fervor. In their exploration their desire began that steady climb to dangerous territory of untamed abandon. Their lips met again, but this time the fever of the feeling of anticipation and want caused them both to start to pull at each other clothing, wanting nothing more to feel skin on skin.

Jessica tugged at the buttons of his dress shirt, while Harvey tried to find the hidden zipper of her gown, trying to free her from the waist down. He needed more of Jessica and fast. Jessica tugged the lux fabric from his torso, whipping it expertly off him and making quick work of his undershirt beneath. When Harvey's strong, masculine chest was finally revealed to her, she couldn't help the pause it caused her. He was the epitome of what she fantasized he would have looked like in her most impure thoughts. The depths and crevasses of his lean muscles against her feather light trail of her fingertips caused Harvey's lower body to tense and constrict in the most sensual delight. Jessica's fingers reached the hem of his trousers, and Harvey's eyes followed the movement. The excitement of their exploration of one another's body's was an overexertion of their senses. They wanted to see all, feel all, hear all and taste all.

Jessica's perfectly manicured fingers traced his manhood through his pants and that simple action woke a reckless abandon in Harvey. That brief exchange of touch was enough to cause him to expertly turn her away from him, as he latched his lips to her neck again, pinning Jessica between his hips and the kitchen countertop, pressing into her backside, wanting to feel more of her, but wanting more to take his time with her. This could be an open and shut case, he wanted this moment to last for the ages.

Jessica gasped at the abrupt albeit stirringly exciting move. She brought a hand to the back of his neck causing her upper body to arch away from his torso. Harvey's hands made their way back to her breasts, feeling his way over her body, while he crashed her back against his chest tightly. His lips found that very special dip under her perfectly sculpted jaw that made her breathless. The feeling of touching Jessica, inhaling that classic familiar scent in such close proximity which Harvey was so fond of from a distance, and feeling the delicateness of such a powerful woman was enough to make him feel like he was going to explode.

Finally finding the hidden side zipper of her gown Harvey pulled it down tortuously slow, almost killing himself in the process. The sound it made in the silence of his apartment was like it was in HD. Once that zipper came down, it was like Pandora's box would be forever opened, and the contents of chaos that would ensue would be a force of nature and both parties were pleasurably aware. Harvey watched Jessica from behind, and noticed her breathy attempts to control the pattern of her inhales. Harvey too felt a little light-headed at the overwhelming stir of emotions and impassions.

Jessica looked over her shoulder, now almost face to face with Harvey, her lips brushed his in a gentle kiss. When it was over, he understood and without words Harvey took one small step away from her, and the loss of contact caused a wave of goose bumps to form on Jessica's skin with the loss of his heat and the coolness of the autumn air through the veranda door. As she turned to face him once more, her gown tumbled to the floor in an elegant decent to Harvey's hardwood floor.

Now clad in only black patent stilettos and black lace panties, Harvey swallowed hard at the image in front of him. She was breathtaking in her current state; lips swollen from his passionate work, her cheeks flushed from the rush of blood, and her semi- naked form ready and willing, Harvey was never more enamored with Jessica then he was at this moment.

"What?" Jessica posed, slightly alarmed at the way Harvey was looking at her semi-naked form, her chest still lightly heaving in its attempt to catch her breath and her lips slightly parted.

Harvey without a word dropped to his knees and placed his hands on the small of her waist, gripping her in a firm and loving embrace, as he brought his lips just below her navel and dragged them in a sensual pattern along the delicate expanse of her torso. She was the first woman to bring him to his knees.

Through each sensual kiss, Harvey breathed, "You...are…the most…remarkable…woman" as Jessica's hands tried to steady her balance, finding their way to Harvey's shoulders, due to how incredible his mouth felt against her skin and how he touched her. No man had ever explored that part of her body and she never knew how much she enjoyed it. Her eyes shut in the ecstasy of the feeling, and when Harvey's fingers glided over the tensed fabric of her panties and between her legs Jessica let out a moan so deep that Harvey could feel it through her body. It came from her core. Harvey wanted to taste her, every last inch of her, and be memorized by her song of pleasurable moans like a sea siren of ancient tales long ago.

Harvey's fingers played for a mere moment with her panties as his mouth worked over the fabric. He could feel through the thin veil of fabric how ready she was for him and the anticipation was torturous. Jessica couldn't wait any longer for the feeling of a release under Harvey's touch. She began sliding her panties down her hips for Harvey to get the hint. A small smirk played on his lips at this wicked game he was playing with her. Their fingers intertwined as they both drew her panties down her long caramel legs and to the floor. Within mere moments Harvey gripped her toned thigh and threw her long leg over his shoulder opening her to his planned ministrations, wanting nothing more then to build her and take her over the edge in a violent shudder and abandon. His movements, a delicate balance between his mouth and fingers, were teasing, pleasurable and torturing and freeing in a release so intense Jessica lost all feeling in her hands as she gripped the counter-top with one hand and the other locked in a vice grip in Harvey's hair. Jessica exploded over Harvey. Her body heaved uncontrollably. Her cries moments ago were the sexiest sounds he had ever heard a woman make. As Harvey came back up, he didn't expect the impassioned kiss waiting for him.

This sexual aggression from Jessica was such a turn on. Her awakened fervor was unlike anything he had ever fantasized about. Maybe there was a reason it took them years, like a fine wine it took years to curate, and once uncorked was a spiritual experience. Jessica dragged her luscious lips over his face, leaving mellifluous and flirtatious kisses along the trail to his ear. Once her lips found this spot she played there for a moment, running her tongue sensually, turned on at exponential levels. Her warm breath and ruminants of the sounds she made working the area with expert movements, left Harvey with goose bumps down the expanse of his skin. Just when Harvey thought the moment was the epitome of any other sexual encounter he had ever had before, he heard the husky demand that made him weak in the knees, "I cant make it to your bedroom, I want to you now."

Harvey's lips kissed her, unlike any kiss he had ever laid upon a woman's lips. He was quickly becoming obsessed with them. With his hands firmly on her hips he moved her backwards to his sofa, as Jessica made quick work of his trousers. As they came around the corner and she moved Harvey's undergarments to follow the trail of his trousers. When he was revealed to her, she took a moment to take him in, every muscle, every indentation of his masculine form, every perfect freckle or marking, as though a master sculptor had completed his masterpiece of the male form. Jessica explored his skin, running her perfectly manicured nails from his naval down to his sizeable manhood, now throbbing and twitching at her roused touch. She used this opportunity to take his lips again, only this time she would use the moment to her advantage and provide him pleasure as he just gifted her. She gripped him and moved her hand to a rhythmic motion for a mere moment and then gave him a swift push to the sofa, the playfulness of the moment Harvey let out a raspy and throaty "Tease."

Jessica in return gave him a devilish smirk and tilted her head flirtatiously. He watched Jessica take her time as she slowly placed one knee at one of his sides and then the other, very deliberately and assert her very compromising position straddling his thighs. Not yet lowering herself to his body, Harvey placed his hands to his waist and massaged the curve of her waist and hips, loving the feeling of her womanly curves. Jessica caressed his face and neck, they held one another before the impeding moment where there would be no turning back. Twenty years of every possible experience between them, except this.

Neither really understood the magnitude of what was about to happen between them. At that moment they were still a version of their old selves. Jessica couldn't tell if her legs were shaking from anticipation or from the previous orgasm Harvey gifted her but she began to lower herself as Harvey's hands guided her waist and hips to descend to the point of no return. As their bodies came together, their eyes penetrated one another with such intensity that it shook them to their cores. The force of their bodies coming together caused them both to shudder and hold on to one another for dear life, not completely understanding what they were both feeling, the feeling completely shattering and overwhelming.

The sharp inhale of Jessica's breath at the moment they came together was the sexiest sound he had ever heard a woman make. Harvey's held flew to Jessica's torso, resting it there for a second as guttural reaction at that powerful moment. It took them a few moments to start the motions of falling over the precipice of ecstasy.

Harvey began lifting his hips tantalizing slow, wanting to feel every stroke against her body. Jessica found her rhythm with Harvey's movements meeting his thrusts with more vigor as their eyes began to betray them both the closer they got to the point of losing control, fluttering in the soulful exchange, ridding the waves of rapturous torture. In their embrace they became the embrace and in their breathing they became each other air, each other's lifeline. When their lips met again, they had each other in every physical way, but spiritually they were syncopated. Their hearts were not beating, but love was beating, blood was not circulating, love was circulating. The movements became more abrupt, quick, and intense.

Jessica grabbed Harvey's face and forced his eyes to look at her own as she started moaning and crying out his name letting go of the control her mind still had on her body and giving into the pleasure that he was giving her. She wanted to show him what she could not yet say.

He watched her eyes flutter. He felt her abdomen began to contract in abrupt shutters in his hands, and he listened to the sounds of her screams of pleasure as she tipped her hips at another angle, as he continued to pleasure the most sensitive place of her body. With a breathless hitch and a sound of his name in a song of pleasure, he felt the instant contraction against his manhood and with a fist full of his hair, she held him close to her body.

He couldn't control himself anymore. After hearing her call out his name in pleasure and the feeling of her body betray her from within her, Harvey grabbed her hips with vigor and pressed her body to his with the same force she exerted holding him as came with her. Within moments he too burst within her and they stayed paralyzed at the intensity of what happened between them. Their bodies heaved out of breath and out of their minds. It took them several moments to come apart and look at one another again. Never would they have imagined an experience this intense, an incurable passion. Jessica kept her arms wrapped lazily around Harvey's neck playing with the hair at the nape of his neck and slowly caressed Harvey's face, drawing lazy patterns down the expanse of his chest, still straddling him. He held her waist with one hand and his other hand drew languid soothing circles on her lower back, which helped him regain his thoughts again. Their movements were lethargic but no less deliberate.

"Tell me again Harvey." Jessica requested in even tone. Harvey instantly knew what she was asking him to say.

"I love you, Jessica." Harvey would tell her a thousand times a day if she wanted. And even if he had to wait a thousand years until she would say it back to him one day, he would wait.

She nodded at him.

He watched as her lips parted but nothing came out. He lowered his gaze and concentrated on the moments his caresses on her back and stopped abruptly when he heard her declare "I love you, Harvey"

A warmness spread within Harvey; a feeling like he was finally home after a long and grueling journey; like it was all worth it to get to this moment; as though the chaos and madness of his life was all leading to this moment.

It took twenty years, two very different paths, and two people on parallel journeys who weathered all the shifts in the season of their chaotic and extraordinary relationship to finally come together and find their home within one another. No longer lost souls to roam the earth looking for empty promises, experiences or risks that would never fulfill them like they would for one another. Their relationship was forever shifted, forever moved, forever changed…and there was no going back now.

 _The End._


End file.
